Finals

Seeing as it is finals for most people, it only makes sense that we should take a moment to recognize the pièce de résistance of a true bro. I'm sure most people have already seen this but it never ceases to amaze, motivate, and most importantly distract me. This brave soul does what most of us lack the creativity or testicular fortitude to do. Enjoy.

Oh and I know it probably isn't real but who cares?

Let's Be Real Here

Christopher McCandless, aka Alexander Supertramp, can teach everyone something about the way the world works. A 23 year old college graduate, infused with a sense of escape and disgust, flees every conceivable 20th century invention ensuring his existence, and embarks on a spiritual pilgrimage to be lost in the wild.

The 2007 film Into the Wild by Sean Penn, with Emile Hersch playing Chris, is a beautiful rendition of a largely true story. The film springs from a 1996 book by Jon Krakauer of the same title that I have yet to read.

As A.O Scott of the New York Times describes the film:

The story begins with an unhappy family, proceeds through a series of encounters with the lonely and the lost, and ends in a senseless, premature death. But though the film’s structure may be tragic, its spirit is anything but. It is infused with an expansive, almost giddy sense of possibility, and it communicates a pure, unaffected delight in open spaces, fresh air and bright sunshine.

The film's cinematography sets out to encourage this simple aesthetic beauty Chris saw in everything. Stocked with memorable quotes, the movie strays from the typical hallmark feel-good story when the protagonist ventures into the depths only to return a changed man. The alternate story structure suggests forgiveness, and has a huge underlying emphasis on the importance of human relationship. Chris, who denounces the joy found in relationships, is a naturally sociable person and each chapter of his life is marked by the things he learns in his footloose relationships.

All things bro aside, Chris McCandless stood to become a literary force to be reckoned with and understood more about natural human reason than anyone. Chris' story has thankfully been shared due to the immense help from the entire McCandless family. In my opinion, one of the most poignant stories of release, freedom, and understanding to ever occur.

The real Chris McCandless (circa Spring 1992)

Two years years he walks the earth. No phone, no pool, no pets, no cigarettes. Ultimate freedom. An extremist. An aesthetic voyager whose home is the road. Escaped from Atlanta. Thou shalt not return, 'cause "the West is the best." And now after two rambling years comes the final and greatest adventure. The climactic battle to kill the false being within and victoriously conclude the spiritual pilgrimage. Ten days and nights of freight trains and hitchhiking bring him to the Great White North. No longer to be poisoned by civilization he flees, and walks alone upon the land to become lost in the wild.

- Alexander Supertramp May 1992

Weekly Bro-port

I'm trying out this whole blog participation thing again.... pretty exciting.

Brotest (v.): The act of protesting anything that is not bro, or aims to destroy that which is bro.

Bro #1: "Did you hear they are trying to ban wearing lax pinnies to class?!"
Bro #2: "Oh shit, we need to brotest that!"

Bro quote:

“Broness is not a singular act, but a habit. You are what you repeatedly do.”

Now 48: Bro-Jams

This guy is chill. We all could learn a lesson from him.

Pitchfork Gets it Right (for once..)

Kanye West loves that people love him. I mean after all, he is the voice of a generation, a lyrical wordsmith, and a gayfish. In all seriousness though, 808s & Heartbreak sucked. Like it was bad. Thankfully he has taken a step in a right direction.

My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy is actually.. really really good. Like really good. For god sakes Rolling Stone gave it 10 out of 10. Kanye (or Yeezy apparently) dropped most (not all) of that shitty auto-tune he was all about in 808s and just made 13 solid tracks.

Even Pitchfork music, the PBR-drinking fixie-riding pompous narwals, gave it a 10.0. They say the album is perfect. Pitchfork's Rob Sheffield doesn't avoid the stereotypes Kanye's earned himself up to this point:

On Twisted Fantasy, Kanye is crazy enough to truly believe he's the greatest out there. And, about a decade into his career, the hardworking perfectionist has gained the talent on the mic and in the control room to make a startlingly strong case for just that.

Maybe, just maybe. No doubt a few of these tracks will come to replace some of the horribly overplayed singles from Eminem's Recovery. In my eyes, Em secured his spot as the most competent artist with his most recent, but every single Top-40 station across the nation has managed to beat a dead horse playing No Love, Not Afraid, and Love the Way You Lie steadily since July.

Kayne has fashioned his own niche, capitalizing on the more recent hip-hop idea of avoiding cookie-cutter song structure and composition. Still riddled with sampling and synth, I think his rightly-placed sequel to Graduation (yes, let's treat 808s like a bad case of the chicken pox, never again) is hitting all the right chords. A bit like Cudi's Man on the Moon I I dare say.

See for yourself, this is a quick favorite showing Yeezy (Lemme take this moment to note I hate that he calls himself Yeezy now. Not just because Dwayne Carter pretty much owns those rights, but because it's Kanye as in Kahn-yay. Voice of a generation, lyrical wordsmith.) going for the new dark, heavy, sound. And NAILING it.

Monster [feat. Jay-Z, Rick Ross, Nicki Minaj & Bon Iver] by FoxtrotSport

Special shout out to Nicki Minaj, who with her "They say Nicki you the bestest/I just be comin' off the top, asbestos" line had pretty much earned her spot with brokeNCYDE and Justin Bieber for worst artists known to man in my mind. She just might have what it takes.

Weekly Bro-port

Let's call this the Weekly (read: bi-monthly) Bro-port. Excuse the Thanksgiving hiatus. Don't worry, it was well spent. And that's all you need to know.

Mashed Brotatoes (n.): Any comfort food commonly found in campus dining facilities, gas station convenience stores, or on Mom's table when visiting home. Bros love mashed potatoes.

"Man, I'm out of meal passes, looks like I'm runnin' on mashed brotatoes for the rest of the week."

Your bro quote of the week:

"If we cannot now end our differences, at least we can help make the world safe for broversity."

John F. Kennedy

Broxemplar

Look and learn bros-in-training.

420, bro. It's chill. Ignore the shameless self-advertisement for the blog.

Extreme

Bros love extreme. Pushing the limit, combining needlessly dangerous things. If you can not only die, but die violently hurtling through the air, it's probably pretty damn extreme.

Back in 2007 Matchstick Productions put out a ski movie Seven Sunny Days, with a segment on Shane McConkey's (R.I.P, no surprise there) wingsuit-ski-base-jumping. He thought of the idea of skiing off a cliff, doing a few flips, throwing off his skis, flying in a wingsuit, and parachuting down all in the same extreme stunt. No less, he tragically passed away doing such things a year or two ago.

Needless to say it was pretty chill. Go ahead and watch the rest of that movie too, TJ Schiller and Colby West do the best follow cam business I have ever seen.

However, I think may have found a better alternative. Why jump off the mountain and ditch the skis, when you could just deploy the parachute and float from ski slope to ski slope. Oh right, hurtling at 150mph between cliffs. These guys are insane.

So chill.

Teach me how to Doodle

They be like smoove (what?)
Can u teach me how to doodle?
You know why?
Cause all da bitches love me.

As some of you may recall.... a while ago Ryan posted what he considered to be the "high score" in Doodle Jump. But as of today, his reign is no more. There is a new sheriff in town.

Weekly Bro-port

Busy week, sorry for slow updates. I mean it snowed here for crying out loud. For half of 2bros1blog thats big news (here's a hint, it's this half). Anyways onto your required knowledge:

Bilbro Baggins (n.): Pull out an epic journey (carry a keg of Natty +2 miles, multiple slampieces at once, or snowboard and surf in the same day, all acceptable brojourneys), come back and write an epic about it, and you're a Bilbro Baggins.

"That party last night was awfully crazy, remember Jason did 10 kegstands? He texted me this morning, talk about a Bilbro Baggins."

And for the bro-quote (completely unaltered this time, I swear)

Mark Twain was chill.

So again, sorry for the lack of content, we'll make up for it. Starting.... now. Watch this, fullscreen 720p. Mind: blown?